Aries ♈ – You’re unstoppable today … except for Wi-Fi outages. That’s your kryptonite.
Taurus ♉ – Your fridge calls, and honestly, it’s the only call you want to answer.
Gemini ♊ – You’ll start three conversations and forget to finish any of them. Classic.
Cancer ♋ – The group chat drama has you emotional. Don’t worry, so does everything.
Leo ♌ – You strut into rooms like Beyoncé, but remember: not every room needs Beyoncé.
Virgo ♍ – The urge to alphabetize your spice rack is real. Give in. Cinnamon deserves respect.
Libra ♎ – Choices overwhelm you. The stars suggest flipping a coin. Then ignoring it.
Scorpio ♏ – Your vibe is powerful today. People might fear you. Enjoy it.
Sagittarius ♐ – Adventure awaits! Sadly, it’s just a trip to Target.
Capricorn ♑ – Grind mode activated. Don’t worry, coffee’s got your back.
Aquarius ♒ – Another brilliant idea! Yes, it’s weird, but that’s the point.
Pisces ♓ – You dream of magic … but settle for microwave popcorn.
Forever weighing snacks vs. salads, Netflix vs. productivity, and “yes” vs. “let me think about it.” Libras may look graceful balancing those cosmic scales, but behind the smile is a brain that’s already onto Plan C. ✨⚖️
