A Holiday Advice Column by Memaw Herself
Well hey there, honeybun. If the smell of cinnamon candles and turkey gravy also comes with the faint aroma of tensionin your family, just scoot up a chair. Memaw’s got you covered. Holidays can bring out the best in people and also the loudest, the prickliest, and the “Why does he always do this?” of it all.
Let’s get you through it with your dignity intact and your blood pressure reasonable.
💗 1. Remember Why You’re Even Going
Before you put on your boots and head over to Aunt Patsy’s, ask yourself:
“What’s my purpose today?”
Connection? Tradition? Checking on a loved one?
When you know why you’re there, sugar, the small stuff feels a whole lot smaller.
🚧 2. Put Up Boundaries Like You Paid the Mortgage on Them
Listen, baby. Being kind does not require being a doormat.
Tell folks gently, ahead of time, what topics are off-limits:
“Sweetie, I’d rather not talk politics today.”
If someone pushes, Memaw says you smile politely and pivot like you’re at a middle-school dance.
🕰️ 3. Give Yourself a Time Limit
You don’t have to stay from the deviled eggs to the final after-dinner meltdown.
Drop in for cocoa, stay for dessert, or leave before Uncle Hank’s annual “speech.”
You’re not being rude. You’re managing your peace.
🚪 4. Always Have an Escape Route
Drive your own car. Keep your coat handy.
Practice any of these lines:
- “I’m gonna step outside for some fresh air.”
- “I’m helping in the kitchen!” (You don’t have to actually help.)
- “Love y’all, but I’ve gotta run.”
Sometimes freedom looks like heated seats and a quiet drive home.
🫶 5. Bring Your Allies
Sit next to the cousin who cracks jokes, not the one who cracks knuckles.
Let someone know in advance, “Hey, if Cousin Drama starts in, can you help redirect?”
Every cowboy needs a riding partner.
✨ 6. Mind Your Mood Before It Bites Back
Check in with yourself:
Am I tense? Tired? Hungry? One eyebrow twitch away from snapping?
Take a breath. Splash some water. Grab a roll (carbs are emotional support).
👉🏿 Responding beats reacting every time.
🎯 7. Not Every Battle Needs a Soldier
Memaw’s Rule:
If it won’t matter in six months, don’t let it ruin six hours.
You can always choose peace over “being right.”
(And sometimes silence says more than any speech.)
💬 8. Shift the Topic Like a Pro
Hot topics bubbling up? Stir that pot in another direction.
Talk about holiday traditions, TV shows, pets, recipes, or the weather. Boring is beautiful when tempers are rising. 🌡️
🌲 9. Make Your Own Holiday Traditions
If your family gathering leaves you feeling like a wrung-out dishrag, create new rituals:
A cozy movie night. A quiet dinner. A friends-only celebration.
Traditions are supposed to bring joy, not dread.
🛁 10. Aftercare Isn’t Just for Spa Days
When you get home:
Change into your softest pajamas.
Wrap up in a blanket.
Watch something gentle.
Decompress and hydrate (your future self thanks you).
Then celebrate the small victory: you survived another holiday season with your people.
💖 Memaw’s Final Blessing:
“Darlin’, you can love your family, and still love yourself enough to protect your peace.
Remember, it’s not your job to fix grown folks.
Just show up with kindness, keep your boundaries tidy, and don’t forget to treat yourself like someone you love.” 💅
